For those who don't know, 19 years ago on this day, when I didn't even exist yet.. I lost a brother. An older brother I've always wanted to meet but unfortunately, never had the chance to. When I found out I was devastated but you know, what can I do? I gotta admit, I'm relieved losing him before I came to life. It was better for me than knowing him, being close to him, loving him then losing him. It would hurt me so so so much more. It's his birthday today, he would've turned 19. I hope his well up there, I know he has been watching over me these years. I hope his proud of who've I've become and loves me because of who I am. Though I've never seen him, I really miss him. His name is Kennedy, how non Asian right? but when I hear his name, I can somewhat picture what he looks like.. standing there just smiling at me. I know if he was still here, he'd be a great big brother. So I would like to say,

Happy birthday Kennedy!

I really miss you.

I've always wanted to feel the love and warmth of having an older brother. I know a lot of people out there has lost someone they love, I totally understand how you feel but you probably were in a worse state then me. If I was to lose him when we actually met.. I don't think I could handle it that well because personally, it takes me so damn long to get over something that big or maybe never get over it at all. I wanted to dedicate this post to him, to tell him how much I love him. Doesn't matter if we've never met, for me to know that I once had an older brother.. it gives me great privilege to know it's him. I know he would take care of me and we would've been so close, just like best friends. He would protect me or probably kick Tony's ass if he does anything to hurt me :P LOL. Doesn't matter, I know that he's watching over me so it makes me happy. I hope I can meet him in the next life or something. I sang "someone's watching over me" by Hilary but the damn video doesn't seem to upload so whatever. Just wanted to dedicate it to Kennedy. I remember when I first watched the movie 'Raise your voice', when she sang that song for her brother who died, it made me cry so bad.

* * * * * * * * * * * * 

Anyways, about today. I was planning to do something but I didn't really do anything. Oh, it's halloween too! I'm quite surprised no one has knocked on my door for trick or treat. Every year, on my street.. I would get knocks every minute. It was quite annoying, so thank god no one did it today. Maybe because it's a Saturday? who knows.

Oh and Ange, if you're reading this.. I'm so sorry I can't make it to your birthday tomorrow! I have work til 5 :(. I'll make it up to you babe. Have fun though!! xxx

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANGE!!

I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT ONE! BEST WISHES LOVE. LOVE YOU 

XXO.

Today was so damn hot, funny how the weather is wrong. I felt so sorry for my sister, I thought it was gonna be cold so she wore two shirts and pants. She came home whinging about how hot it is and blamed me for making her wear pants, poor thing LOL. I love Wednesdays. I have nomore biology which is sad but good for me. Lucy was gonna tell me something but I had to go to senior science. I'm gonna miss the talks that we have :( I saw Tony after school today and we went to buy Han's present. I didn't exactly get her what I was going to but close enough. I love it though and I hope she does too!

Yesterday night, I was talking to Beka. Yeah I know, Beka! I haven't talked or seen that girl in years. I miss her man. It was a great convo we had and a pretty long one too. She then told me that she reads my blog and basically, mostly all of my posts too in one day. She gave up studying just to read my blog! :O I was like so happy when she told me that. Everytime I find out someone new reads it, it just gives me motivation to blog more and more. It's probably too much that it makes me addicted to this whole blogging world. I never actually knew how expressing your feelings on your blog could feel so good knowing that people actual read it, better yet like reading it. So thank you for that Beka!

Please, if you do read my blog and I don't know, please comment so I know who reads it. What a blogger loves most is knowing who reads their blog, who follows, who actually enjoys reading.

Make up?

It's been awhile, but I just seriously gotta tell you guys a few stuff. Months back, my skin was in it's breaking point and I went shopping with Tony to find moisturisers for my skin and I found "Near skin bio white". I wanted to try it out and seriously, a few days later.. it just made my skin really soft, smooth and no breakouts or dry skin. I love it, it's so good and worth for its price. It's also not the super expensive ones so its affordable, does what it says and it keeps your skin looking so smooth. 

Today while I was looking for Han's present, I went to look at make up too. I bought this SAVVY concealer and immediately, it looks great. It provides a full coverage for your blemishes, red spots, under eye circles whatever. It's pretty good. I also like it because I like stick concealers, I think it's best. 

Also, MAC's primer "Prep + Prime" calms and soothes your skin, blots out excess oil and evens out skin redness. It also helps laydown and improve foundation or powder. Seriously worth your money!

So much for the start of summer, when it was like zero degrees today or something. I was freezing at school even though I had three shirts on and I'm still freaking freezing. I came to school late today, woke up at 8.30 cos my stupid alarm didn't ring so I decided to come after Biology LOL. Nothing happened at school today, it was quite boring actually but I did so much work today in all my classes. I was in a very happy mood though because I was going to see Tony after school. He came to visit me after his HSC, I love you.

Since I was so damn hungry, he drove me to Tommy's to buy food. When we were walking back to the car, we saw Lucy and Tony eating at the Lao's restaurant. What cuties they are :) We didn't want to eat at Tommy's kebab so we ate in Tony's car. While we were eating, I was just gonna give him a kiss on the cheeks and then he full pushed me away. I was so gonna say "what the hell" and he was like police behind you, I swear. I didn't believe him for a second and said bullshit. I turned around, and a police car was right behind me. I was like what the, why are they here. I then asked Tony, I know it's the most stupid-est question ever..

"Is eating illegal?" 

He replied of course not! I think they thought we were making out or something, oh please. Why would we, we're eating like pigs man. They then just made a U turn and drove off. Tony started to play with my hair and suggested that I should get a bar fringe, not to mention a lot of people told me to. Seriously guys, I know it'll look weird on me. Tony that ahole also took a photo of it. When my sister saw it, she was like "what the hell, you look like a man there."  I know it looks weird, but I don't look like a man do I? :/

Please don't ask, I have no idea.. LOL

Johnta Austin ft. Mary J. Blige - Temptation

Let's start off talking about yesterday. It was Han's birthday dinner and I gotta say, we had a blast. Tony, Mai and I came late though. We arrived at six, it was held at korean Bbq. When the food started to come out, the whole table started to be filled with food. There was literally no space left for anything, what pigs right? We were hungry alright. For some strange reason, the bloody Bbq didn't really work, so they got the portable gas thing instead. So much for korean Bbq right? but at least the meat cooked LOL. There were so many food that we don't know of. There was this white thing, that looked like jelly. Everyone was curious about it and how it tastes. Everyone tried it but I didn't know, so they told me to try it. I hesitated cos you know.. you know when you get that bad feeling? yes, I can read my friend's face. Something isn't right. They forced me to try it and god, it was the worse thing I've ever ate! It like.. melted in my mouth. Yuck! Later through the night, everyone else had another piece except for me, so Tony my lovely boyfriend, ate it for me and his facial expression, priceless! We ate so much that we were all so full. Not to mention, two cakes afterwards too. After we ate, we walked around Strathfield for a bit. Have I mentioned, Strathfield streets look totally ancient. Mai and I was like what the hell. After the dinner, I went over Tony's house until 1 again. As usual, great fun with my lovely boyfriend. Overall, I had a really great day. Hope you had fun too Hanby, you deserve it! 

LOVE YOU X

Today at work was alright. It wasn't bad as I thought it would be, except the part where Tony didn't work because of HSC. Have I told you how much I miss him? I miss him so god damn much that I think it's gonna make me crazy :( LOL. Tomorrow is his last exam until two weeks and he is visiting me tomorrow, yay! I can't wait to see him only for a few hours but so what, it's better than nothing. One minute with him, he can still make me so happy. I finished all my homework and stuff today, ready for another week of school tomorrow. I still feel as though I'm in year eleven though and I don't feel like year twelve is kicking in until week six. Where I can drop Geo and do the subjects I actually enjoy and start actual work, making notes and stuff when we get our textbooks. Teacher told me that we're gonna get two assignments this term for English. To be honest, I'm eager to get it. I don't feel like "OMG ASSIGNMENTS URGH." LOL! 

Jojo - How you did it

Nikki Flores - Hard to breathe

Taio Cruz ft. John Reid - Crying over you

School was alright today, I had lots of fun except getting my marks back. I know I could've done better. I'm very happy about English though, I was so scared I did shit for my creative writing, but I didn't. It could've been higher, but compared to the year, it was pretty good and the other two sections I was very happy with. Paid off for radically hard studying for English so I was feeling pretty good. For the others, I did okay but I know I can do much better than that. Wait until I get my Bio one back, oh jeez. Oh well, I guess it shows me that I need to get better marks for next year so it prepares me for year twelve. 

The weather has been so hot lately and out of nowhere today, it was gloomy. I hate it when that happens, it just changes your mood so quickly. You get so happy then you start to feel tired when it gets gloomy. The whole day was good, we were mainly just getting our marks back and looking through it. In Geo today, it went by so fast for the first time. Mai and I was having so much fun picking on Han, she is such a cutie. She knows we love her though and surprisingly.. I passed for Geo! LOL. 

Oh btw, I have SOME of the photos from Chipping Norton from Joanne, but I will post up more when I get them off Mai. I love the pictures, the view is so beautiful. Here are some, for more.. it's on my facebook. 

My beautiful girlies, Luce and Joey.

Let's stare at it so we can feel less hungry.

Such beautiful view

After millions, this is perfect.

Can't imagine what it'd be like without them (L)

Joey, Kimee ;D

I love this photo and of course, Hanby & Joey!

Lucy, Kimee, Joey

I love all these photos, thank god the weather was great too. The next few photos, I just love! I also absolutely love this boy. He makes me feel so special like no one has ever. You can really tell how much love I have for him when you see us together ;)

Kimee&Tony❤

I love you!

Akon - No more you

Just one look in the mirror
And I know I don't look the same being alone.
I don't walk the same without you on my arm, I lost my charm.
I don't know how I made it before
Cause you are my future for sure.

With no more you,
What am I gonna do?
with no more you..
To see me through,
with no more you
What am I gonna do?
with no more you

I can't live without nomore you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVELY HANBY! HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT ONE BABE, LOVE YOU!! 

XX

It's been since Wednesday that I've blogged, terribly sorry for that! I've been real busy lately. My last few days of the holidays was great. I am shocked but also quite excited for school tomorrow, surprisingly. I am all organised for school tomorrow, which is great, just like I said I would be. It's scaring knowing that it's year 12 already but whatever comes my way, I'm ready for it. This post is going to be very long because I have so much to say to you guys. 

Saturday

I was sleeping so peacefully until I got a phone call at 9 something. I got up feeling very frustrated and said "this better be good". Yes, I really hate being woken up. Mai asked me if I could come to the Chipping Norton thing today but I was too dead and I wasn't sure if I was busy or not, so I said I'll call you back later. Woke up an hour later after we hung up and asked my parents if we're going anywhere today. I wasn't going anywhere except getting the swine flu vaccination, so I called Mai to tell her I am going. While I was waiting for the doctor, I was feeling very scared. I hate bloody needles, that scare the crap out of me. To make matter worse, before I got it, everyone kept telling me it was huge and it hurts a lot. Thanks guys, thanks heaps - TONY. I didn't look at the needle at all. I turned the other way the whole time so I wouldn't scare myself. I wanted to go first so I can't see the needle going into my parents. It wasn't that bad, it just stung afterwards and my arm felt like it was going to fall off. 

After doctors, My parents dropped me off at Tony's and then Tony and I went to Mai's house. Lucy, Joanne and Han was there already. I was so glad they all could make it. We arrived at Chipping Norton around 2.30 and went to find the best location. We were near the lake, which had such a beautiful view. When the sun was starting to set, Tony and I sat beside each other and watched the gorgeous view together, how romantic LOL. It took us 3 hours to make the coal hot so we could put the meat on. We were all starving like hungry fat pigs. I whinged so much because I was so damn hungry, and for those who know me very well.. I get very angry when I'm hungry. I'm actually surprised that I was still alive after that 3 hours. We had to burn so much things to make the fire. Leaves, barks, paper, cardboard, twigs.. yep, everything you can name. The fire flying ashes burnt Han's extensions and Mai's poor bag which had a big hole in the middle. It was hilarious. Unfortunately, Lucy left so soon because of work, she only spent some time with us. 

We finally got to eat and then later at night, Tony and I went to pick up Tommy. Tony kindly enough drove us back to his house so he could get a jacket of his for me to borrow, since I was so cold. I love him dearly :) When we got back to the others, it was already dark. We forgot to bring light so we had this huge fire instead which was awesome and very warm. Tony, Mai and myself had a ride on M's parents boat. It was so fun! I found out something today, that is Tony is scared of being on a boat HAHA. He kept saying omg this is scary and changed spots with Mai because where he was, the boat was very low, and I kept trying to scare him. He was so cute. We all had a blast though. Later, at around 8.30, Tony drove everyone home and Mai stayed back with her parents on the boat. I went to Tony's afterwards and stayed there til 1. It was great fun! Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures at the moment because I was so stupid that I forgot my camera. I will post photos sometime soon, when I get them off the girls :)

Today I didn't go to work because my body was aching so much in the morning. I told my dad to call in sick for me, so yeah. I woke up and went to eat with the family then headed to my cousins for awhile. After cousins, I went to buy the rest of the stationaries that I need for school. When I got home, I did some of my tutor homework and organised my stuff for school tomorrow. I'm all ready, so ready. That is all guys, love you all lots! 

Sorry I haven't been blogging guys. Yesterday, I went to Lucy's birthday party. It was great! since I'm too lazy to write about everything, I'll just dot point it. 

• Arrived at Fairfield stn, realising nobody's here yet.
• Saw Mai & Hanby! Gave both of them a great big hug in the middle of the road
• Mai realised she forgot her GPS cord, so we decided to go back and get it
• Back at Fairfield stn and saw a few of the others and the birthday girl
• Tony, Lucy and Julie drove us to the city. Three P plates in a row was quite awesome, though it was only three. They kept changing lanes and stuff. Lucy and Julie are such speeders! they were probably going like more than 90 HAHA. Lucky Han, Mai and myself was in Tony's car :P)
• Took 30 minutes to find a bloody parking at city
• Met up with everyone at Galaxy world. 
• Han, Mai, Tony and myself was hungry so we went to eat since most people at Maccas for brekky. 
• We decided to eat at Nando's and damn, it was freaking nice!
• Met up with everyone at Green box for karaoke
• Tony, Mai, Han and myself went back to our parking to get another ticket. We searched for coins, get anything we could find in coins when we were 50 cents short. Han and Mai went to get more coins while Tony and myself was praying for them to come back soon because the money was still in there. Tony and I heard the coins go down and thought it went in and we were both like :O. But luckily, it didn't! Han and Mai finally arrived and we got our ticket. We then realised, we paid for two fucking hours when we only needed one hour! LOL
• The rest went to eat at pizza hut buffet while Han, Mai, Tony and myself was still full, we decided to go and get a drink or something since they wouldn't let us in.
• Said goodbye to the others and of course the birthday girl 
• We went to get drinks and god, we drank like piggies.
• We went around shopping until 3ish. Everyone one of us bought something which was awesome. I wanted to buy this jacket at forecast but noo, there's none of my size jeez. 
• Tony drove Han and Mai home first. When it was my turn, his car broke down. He went to borrow his friend's car and drove me home. 

It was a great day yesterday. Thanks to Lucy for an awesome party :) I might edit later. Here are some photos from yesterday. I forgot my camera yesterday which sucked.

Have I ever mentioned that Tony full cracks up at my lame jokes? well here's proof. Though you can't see what the actual joke I said, maybe because it's abit.. just between Tony and I, here's how he responded. I love him, he actually laughs at my total lameness. Nothing but LAME. That is true love I tell ya ;)

EDIT.

Tony's studying right now and I'm so proud of him for studying so hard. The week is ending and I'm going to get my swine flu vaccination this Saturday. Yes, I haven't got it yet since everyone has. I'm the first person whose gonna die when swine flu hits LOL. I hate freaking needles, they scare the crap out of me but I think now.. I'm a bit better with needles. We'll see when Saturday comes :) 

Today was a great day! I had another Hungry Jack's crew meeting. It was really fun today, better than the other time. We actually had fun and took lots of photos liked I promised :). It was kinda like a party or something day. We had krispy kreme, chips, drinks, games like celebrity heads. I haven't played that game in ages man, it was really fun since I got picked for one of it.  Here are some dot points about today since I'm too lazy :P

• Managers talked about certain things about Hungry Jack's
• Managers handed out the "flame crew" award. They do this every crew meeting for the best crew and guess who it was today? ME. Yes, I was like wth HAHA
• Played celebrity heads - Tony, Dwi, Phu, Rashveen, Danielle and myself got chosen to be the celebrity head. It was so fun!
• Tony and Dwi made a gay scene while playing
• Ate krispy kreme donuts, drink, talk, plenty plenty of laughs!
• Took lots of photos with everyone
• said goodbye
• went to eat Laos with Tony
• came back to Tony's house

Seriously, it was a great day. Though, I was extremely dissapointed because Vicky didn't freaking turn up but I got to see Zarrin and the others who I haven't in ages which was great! Though only half the crew turned up, it was still fun. Hopefully, we'll have a Hungry Jack's day out for a BBQ for Christmas :) The photos below are only some, for more photos go to my facebook.

Oh also, great thanks to Yen Mi for giving me gossip girl episodes and the link. Love you girl :) I dropped by her house for a while and it was a great talk, even though she asked me what I did in the holidays three times LOL! 

I don't have much to say today guys, all I had was work. I will definitely have a long post tomorrow though! I just blogged to say..

Happy birthday my gorgeous, sexy, cute Lucy!! Best wishes babe, hope you had a great day and of course on Wednesday! I love love youuuu so fucking much!! you're a wonderful friend who always listens when I need someone. Who can forget, our great talks about stuff too ;)

August - Broken Love

The weather has been so F lately don't you reckon? what kind of weather is this when it's holidays! no beach, no nothing. Sucks, but who says you can't have fun indoors? I didn't do much today and it's a Saturday but what can I do? my boyfriend's stuck at home studying, the weather's gay, parent's are gone might as well just watch movies :) I went to buy things for school today. Not totally everything, but I'm organised for school. A bit too early, but it's better being early then late right? The next five weeks is going to the worse five weeks of my life. I haven't talked to Tony all morning! I miss him like hell but I'm very proud of him. Goodluck to all the year 12s with their HSC!

Tony came over to my place yesterday and we had so much fun. Since everybody is suggesting I should make videos about makeup, but I thought of a better idea. I decided to give someone a makeover and guess who it is? You will soon find out. It was so much fun doing it, we had so much laughs and I just could not stop cracking up while doing it. Look at the wonderful transformation.

Before 

After

Does he look gorgeous or what? Too bad, his eyes wasn't open so you can't see properly but I used: Missha perfect BB cream foundation, Savvy by DB rose blush, Mac eyeshadows, Shiseido eyeliner, Maybelline XXL mascara. I totally forgot lipstick! He was rushing me so he could see himself, out of curiosity why I was laughing so much.